Day 3: Yellowstone to Cody

Is there no wifi in the plains? Don’t elk need email too? I still have to write about today’s journey, so for now I’ll give you a brief synopsis of our day in Yellowstone:

wood carving, bear

1. Got breakfast in West Yellowstone. Was promptly accosted by a hairy panhandler. Tried swatting him away, but only got splinters.

Grand Prismatic Lake, Yellowstone

2. Stumbled upon actual lake of fire. The damned were all around me, awaiting their turn, snapping photos (see above). Little Billy stepped off the path and was swallowed whole by the belching morass. We moved on without him.

Old Faithful Geyser

3. Visited America’s most reliable photo opp. Named “Faithful” for its ability to draw in cowlike tourists such as myself for more than a hundred years; modifier “Old” added later when early settlers who set their watches to it kept arriving late to business meetings. Could not be possible without the advent of publicity. Was duly awed.

Elk bull

4. Saw a forty-six point elk bull. At least forty-six. Maybe sixty-two. Twenty bucks says ol’ Joe Miller sees this and suddenly takes a renewed interest in our National Parks. (“They allow guns in there, don’t they?” “Yes, Joe. Courtesy of Obama, no less!”)

Bison

5. Met Jimbo.

Bison crossing road in Yellowstone

6. Met Jimbo’s extended family. It was a warm welcome, they all came out on the road to greet us. We were in a hurry to make it to Cody, Wyoming for a rodeo that evening, but you know how bison goodbyes are.

Cody Nite Rodeo

7. Cody Nite Rodeo. Did you know? For all their legendary swagger, most of these cowboys can’t stay on a damn horse for more than a second or two.

Girl riding two horses

8. These cowboys were racist, but not ageist. The nine- and eleven-year-olds have no problem staying on. They just prefer to stand.

Red Pole Ranch Motel

9. Rested our weary heads at the Red Pole Ranch Motel.

END OF DAY THREE

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